Sunday, May 22, 2016

Got tu Ort-Sho Oepaning Laast Wenzdae

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)


Mi frend Jere frum Manhaatan wuz aebool tu meet me faur Wenzdae'z ort-sho oepaning in tha konkaurs uv Gaetwae Senter II, entietoold "Derik Aadamz: Kulchur Klub", so I atendad. This iz tha bulk uv the infarmaeshan in the eemailed invitaeshan, intersperst with foetoez frum that sho.


Mae 18tth - Juen 24tth, 2016
Oepaning Reesepshan: Wenzdae, Mae 18 | 6 - 8 p,m.

Projekt Faur Empte Spaes ["P.E.S."] Ortist in Rezidans Proegraam

Projekt Faur Empte Spaes [aat] Gaetwae Projekt Spaesaz
2 Gaetwae Senter Konkaurs Levool | Nuark, NJ 07102

Projekt Faur Empte Spaes [aat] Gaetwae Projekt Spaesaz iz pleezd tu preezent Kulchur Klub, a soelo eksibishan bi Ortist-In-Rezidans Derick Aadamz, on vyu frum Mae 18tth-Juen 24tth, 2016. A limitad edishan riezagraaf print kamemaraeting the eksibishan wil be reeleest in kanjungkshan witth the oepaning reesepshan.

Kulchur Klub iz a soelo projekt uv lorj-skail werks on paeper eksplauring iedeaz uv selabraeshan, hielieting that Blaak figyur in tha kontekst uv kantemparere kulchur aand leezhur. Witth a nod tu kulchural persaveerans, tha displae givz perspektiv tu tha kreaetiv outpoot aand outlat uv Blaak Amairica aaz a reaakshan tu tha joiz aand strugoolz uv just being.

Aadamz' seereoekomik aproech in Kulchur Klub iz acheevd tthru a seereez uv figyarativ mikst meedea paenting-kalozhaz aand instalaeshanz. A spred uv twente puel-lounjing figyurz, beter noen aaz the "Floeterz," travers[az] tha gaalere, hwair thae fungkshan boetth aaz indivijual veenyets aand aaz a nonlinear naarativ. Eech floeter iz a swotth uv deep blu akrilik on paeper thaat inkaurparaet[s] kalozhd elamants uv vivid Aafrikan prints aand uther graafik tekstialz deepikting swiming puel seenz uv figyurz in staets uv rest aand plae on inflaetabool aand hwimzikal puel floets. The "Floeter" paentingz or joind bi adishanal kalozh werks reezembling aireal vyuez uv taebool setingz uv selabrataure gaatheringz aand festiv yuenyanz, kamyuenikaeting kalektivnas aand faamile histare — paast, prezant aand fyuechur, survieving aand tthrieving.

Aafrikan heritaj aand Amairikan naashanalizam or sentral tu tha konversaeshan taeking plaes in Kulchur Klub; [the ortist] eksplaurz this reelaeshanship, aufering not oenle a komantere on tha joi uv tha prezant; but aulso, preezenting a direkshan faur tha fyuechur.

Derik Aadamz iz a multeedisiplinere Nu Yaurk-baest ortist aand faumer Kyuerataureal Direkter uv Rush Orts Gaalere in Chelse. Aadamz reeseevd hiz M.F.O. frum Kalumbea Yueniversite aand B.F.O. frum Praat Instituet aand iz aan alumnas uv tha Skouhegan Skuel aand Shorp-Walentas Stuedeo Proegraam. Hiz awaurdz inklued a Luis Kumfart Tifane Awaurd, S.J. Wieler Awaurd, aand aan Aagnas Mortin Feloeship.

Sins 2001, Aadamz haaz egzibitad ekstensivle, boetth naashanale aand internaashanale, inklueding MoeMA P.S.1; Brooklin Myuezeam uv Ort; Stuedeo Myuezeam in Horlam; Brooklin Akaadame uv Myuezik; Kantemparere Ort Myuezeam Hyuestan; Berminghaam Myezeam uv Ort; aand PERFAURMA '05, '13 (kamishand bi tha Kaulder Foundaeshan), and '15; Aadamz' werk iz in tha permanant kalekshanz uv tha Metrapolitan Myuezeam uv Ort, Stuedeo Myuezeam in Horlam, Verjinya Myuezeam uv Fien Orts, aand the Bermingham Myuezeam uv Ort. He reesantle servd as gest kyueraeter faur the inaugyooral kyueraetad sekshan uv VOELTA NY 2016.

This litool goorl wuz apaarantle deelietad witth the inflaetabool swiming-puel floets — graet big, pufe toiz in aan ort sho! I sed tu her, "Yu liek thoez, hunn?" (aur sum such), aand she kanfermd that yes she did. She wuz aat ferst the oenle chiald amung tha viziterz, but perhaaps a haaf ouar laeter thair wer aat leest a kupool maur.

Aadamz' werk kaan be seen in Nu Yaurk aat Tiltan Gaalere; Roena Hofman Gaalere, Shikogo; Golrhe On de Veelpwhoq [French, not English: Galerie Anne de Villepoix], Paaris; aand onlien aat derikaadamz.kom[.]

KULCHUR KLUB LIMITAD EDISHAN PRINTS

Derik Aadamz
Kulchur Klub
2016
Edishand 5[-]Kuler Riezagraaf Print
Siend
$200

Projekt Faur Empte Spaes iz pleezd tu reelees a limitad edishan, 5[-]kuler Riezagraaf Poester Print bi Derik Aadamz, ouar 2015/2016 Ortist In Rezidans in Nuark. This print ... was diziend spisifikale tu kamemarate hiz soel eksibishan Kulchur Klub.

Proeseedz frum tha sail uv this print wil go tu sapaurt Projekt Faur Empte Spaes'az Ortist In Rezidans proegraam, aand ouar publik ort inishativz. Projekt Faur Empte Spaes iz a rejisterd 501(c)(3) non-profit aurgnizaeshan. Aul doenaeshanz or Taaks Egzempt tu tha foolast ekstent uv tha lau.

This print was created with the support of our onsite partner, Endless Editions.

SNAAG A PRINT

Tha "SNAAG A PRINT" lingk goez tu aan onlien staur faur ietamz frum Projekt faur Empte Spaes.



The ouarz duering hwich P.E.S. iz oepan, aand kontaakt infarmaeshan, or shoen aat thaat onlien staur az:
2 Gaetwae Senter Gaalere
Nuark, N.J. 07102

Ouarz

Sundae Kloezd
Mundae 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Tuezdae 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Wenzday 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Tthurzdae 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Friedae 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Saaturdae Kloezd

1 (347) 443-9011

info@projektfauremptespaes.aurg

A kaazhual abzerver vyuing tha paentingz aand asemblajaz abuv miet tthingk the ortist iz aan "Amairikan Primitiv", but aaz yu kaan se frum the bio abuv, he iz aakchuale a hiele ejookaetad ortist, hwut wun miet kaul "Fo Amairikan Primitiv".


Bi tha wae, I wuz not inishale sertan uv this, but I beeleev tha swiming-puel inflaetaboolz wer not kreaetad bi Aadamz but meerle silektad frum kamershal saursaz.


Heer iz wun uv the "aireal vyuez uv taebool setingz" menchand in tha tekst abuv.

Mi Prapoezal 11+ Yeerz Ago Kanserning Empte Spaes in Gaetwae Senter. I did not imeedeatle poot toogether toodae'z Projekt faur Empte Spaes witth sumtthing I publisht in this blog on Oktoeber 3, 2004, aaz aan oepan leter tu tha Nuark Myuezeam about maeking yues uv temparerile unokyoopied reetail spaesaz faur NuMyu eksibishanz, keosks, aand tha liek, aand not just in reetail spaesaz but aulso skuelz, kamyuenite senters, liebrereez, aand elsqhwair. A fyu tthingz haav chaenjd sins Oktoeber 2004, such aaz the Luep bus being diskantinyued, aand Bairz & Eegoolz Riverfrunt Staedeam being about tu be deemolisht. But the oeveraul konsept hoelds up vere wel, I thingk. Juj faur yaurself bi klikin heer.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Bluemfest 2016; Wun-Dae Rubish Heep

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)

Ekstreemle laung poest, sum 6,350 werds, witth 28 foetoez. I haad eenaurmas difikulte plaesing foetoez in hwut I reegordad aaz aproepreat plaesaz, aand did not realiez hwi it wuz so difikult until I chekt tha lengktth uv this diskushan in WerdPerfakt. I reefyuezd tu aad tu this blog until I haad fienaliezd this poest, hwich took a preeposterasle laung tiem. Thoez uv yu hu noe hou much maur thair iz tu aan H.T.M.L. fial thaan apeerz onskreen wil noe hwi it kaan taek a laung tiem tu fienaliez aan H.T.M.L. poest. I aulso diskuverd thaat I maed a tieping erer in naeming a foeto, "Blloomfest" for "Bloomfest", which I then kaareed oever intu 12 maur foetoez, aand hwich eenaurmasle komplikaetad deetermining hwich piks I haad aand haad not aulrede tthaut tu yuez in spisifik plaesaz. In ene kaes, I haav deesiedad thaat I must never agen — aafter wun maur laung poest, about the Ort Blok Porte held Dountown on Morch 19tth, mi diskushan uv hwich I aulrede stortad tu draaft, but aulso got stuk in beekauz uv its lengktth — tri tu poot tue much intu ene givan poest, but wil divied poests intu simpool, shaurt diskushanz eezeur tu deel witth. If a diskushan runz laungger thaan I intendad, I kaan stil simplifi tha proses bi yuezing foetoez in rijid kronalojikal aurder. That wil preevent kanfyuezhan aaz tu hwut I haav aand haav not yuezd.


I did get mieself toogther tu go tu this yeer'z Esaks Kounte Chere Blosam Festival'z "Bluemfest" on Aeprool 24tth. Tha graet preeponderans uv toodae'z foetoez or frum thaat dae, in Braanch Brook Pork aand in mi naeberhood beefaur I got underwae. I haav kaapshand eech foeto aaz tu hwich I felt tha subjekt wuz not self-evidant

I wuz deelaed, in geting underwae (bi aej-reelaetad weereenas) aand slietle further deelaed in geting out tu the eevent bi the faak thaat I haad porked tha kor up the drievwae aand beehiend tha hous, hwich haaz beekum aulmoest unavoidabool uv laet, beekauz tha tue kamoedeas spaesaz (aur tthre kroudad spaesaz) aat tha kurb riet in frunt uv mi hous haav aurdinerile bin taekan. Hwi iz thaat? Or thair maur peepool on mi blok thaan thair yuezd tu be? It haaz seemd tu me thaat thair or FYUAR peepool on this blok, due tu aan elavaetad raet uv vaekanse in its singgool-faamile, separat houzaz, praduest bi tha Graet Reeseshan. But if thair reele or maur peepool, I sapoez thaat iz good nuez, eevan if it duz kauz me porking problamz. It miet meen thaat maur peepool or glaad tu look faur houzaz witthin tha Site Limits uv N.J.'z moest popyoolas, aand moest impaurtant, myuenisipaalite.
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Thair or lots aand lots uv yuenits faur housqhunters tu chek, inklueding tunz uv vaekant houzaz kreaetad bi faurkloezhurz aand simpool abaandanmant uv houzaz thaat werking- aand midool-klaas peepool kood no laungger afaurd beekauz uv laung-term unemploimant praduest bi tha Reepublikanz' Graet Reeseshan, hwich Demakraats haav bin unaebool tu undu entiurle, beekauz Reepublikanz' insaen, doktrinair — raesist? — opazishan tu evreetthing Prezidant Oeboma haaz tried tu du.


Wuns I got tu tha street I lookt tu se if the azailyaz flaangking tha stairwae uv a hous tue daurz up tha blok wer aat peek bluem. Thae seemd tu be, so I took a pikchur. Mi oen azailyaz did not du wel this yeer. Wun haad definitle died, probable frum tha straen uv tue siveer winterz in a ro, beefaur this just-paast, relativle miald winter. The uther fiev(?) did not preezent a good displae, so I didan't taek piks.

Oelder houzing haaz its chormz, inklueding taul treez aand uther wel-estaablisht plaantingz. But oeld houzaz kaan aulso entail oeld problamz, such aaz seereasle underpouard eelektrikal sistamz. Mi hous, faur instans, wuz bilt in 1930, hwen not much raan on eelektrisite, so wun aur tue outlats per rum wuz eenuf.


Abuv apeerz a vyu uv mi hous, beetween vere lorj treez klaad in proefyues Ingglish ieve, hwich iz green yeer-round.

Mi hous wuz porshale renavaetad sumtiem in tha 1950z, hwich renavaeshan mae haav seen a fyu maur eelektrikal outlats instauld. But thair or stil nutthing liek eenuf outlats in tha riet plaesaz, uv hi-eenuf kapaasite aand on eenuf difrant serkits, tu run aul the eelektrikal diviesaz a modern hoem reekwiurz. Tha reezult iz thaat I haav ekstenshan kaurdz aul oever tha plaes, hwich preezents a triping haazard. It iz vere impaurtant thaat oeld peepool not trip, beekauz thae miet not be aebool tu preevent a faul, aand a faul kaan be seereas. Mi oen reefleksaz or vere good (a braen fungkshan, aand I haav bin blest witth aan eksalant braen aand its ekstenshanz), but aul thaat iz uv litool yues if hwen I tri tu kaach mieself, thair'z nutthing witthin reech. Wuns I am on tha flaur, horizontal, I kaan rest a minit aur tue beefaur I stort the orjuas proses uv pazishaning mieself so I kaan get up. I yuezd tu feer fauling tu tha flaur, tthingking I miet not be aebool tu get up agen, beekauz uv baad neez, dispiet tthre surjereez — tthingk about thaat obnokshas but memarabool kamershal'z kaachlien, "Help! I'v faulan aand I kaan't get up!, — until I aakchuale DID faul, aand found that, yes, I KOOD get up. Thaat iz hwut paasaz faur a fizikal triumf faur aan oeld persan.
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In adishan tu a lorj stok uv oelder houzing, a hoest uv nu tounhouzaz, moestle uv tha wuns hyuejle popyoolar "Bae(y)oen boks" tiep, sum uv hwich haav bin bilt on mi vere laung blok (oever 1,000' [feet] frum Silver Street doun tu 18tth Aavanyu), aand aportmant haav bin aand kantinyu tu be kreaetad in plaesaz liek tha sueperblok around tha Nuark ShopRiet (aur, aaz seemz tha preferans uv its oeners, "ShopRiet uv Nuark"). Thaat byuetifool staur aangkerz a houzing divelapmant aand auferz a terifik aadvaantaj oever uther nu aportmants, a vere kwik trip on foot in aul kiendz uv wethur, tu a maejer suepermorkat. Tenants need not kleer a drievwae uv sno aand ies, naur wure about roed haazardz aur spending mune on gaasaleen just tu keep fued in tha hous. I doen't noe if aul thoez nu houzing yuenits or mokat-raet aportmants aur if sum or leegale-deefiend "afaurdabool" rentals aand utherz fre-morkat kondoez aur tounhouzaz faur sail. Sum aireaz uv tha ShopRiet sueperblok houzing kompleks look aaz tho thae miet aakchuale kampriez tounhouzaz, tthre aur eevan faur staureez taul. I asuem thaat hwether theez houzing yuenits or rental flaats aur tounhouzaz witth internal stairwaez, tu uper flaurz, thae wil haav aul the eelektrisite thaat modern Amairikanz need faur thair komplikaetad lievz.


Klautth baaner just auf tha Welkam Senter'z porking lot, aand sien pointing tu childran'z airea.

(Thair iz a websiet faur aat leest port uv thaat sueperblok's rezidansaz, 24 Joenz Street, hwich websiet iz abizmale stuepidle kanseevd, witth tiny grae tiep thaat iz aulmoest imposibool tu reed eevan aat mi moniter'z rezalueshan, 800 × 600, the eezeast tu reed thaat iz jenrale availabool. Hwi iz evreebude in kampyueter graafiks toodae aan ideat, aaz faur instans in kreaeting websiets thaat or aulmoest unreedabool? Shoodan't a biznaz wont tu maek it sueper-eeze faur peepool tu reed thair mateerealz? Tha 24 Joenz Street websiet aulso shoez no werdz aaz tu hou tu get tu subpaejaz, but yuezaz the iekon uv tthre shaurt horizontal borz spaest out vertikale aaz tu faurm aulmoest a vizhual skwair, thaat we or aul nou sapoezd tu understand meenz "Menyu" aur "Adishanal Paejaz on This Siet". Hou klever, tu maek us ges hou tu get tu subpaejaz. A web diziener woodan't wont tu yuez a WERD aur, hevan faurfend, fiev werds, such as "Menyu" aur "Uther Paejaz on This Siet". No, thaat wood be aan impazishan apon tha reeder tu haav tu reed aaz much aaz a hoel fiev werds. Let's just preezent peepool witth a puzool aand se if thae kaan figyur it out. If thae kaan't, we doen't wont tu sel them eneetthing!)
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Street Porking on Mi Blok. I wood preefer tu pork up tha drievwae on mi properte oenle in aadvaans uv streetsweeping on Munday (mi sied uv tha street) aand Tuezdae maurningz (tha for sied), aur hwen I haav heve groesereez tu unloed frum the kor. Thair or 16 steps up frum tha street aat tha frunt uv mi hous, but oenle tue DOUN frum tha baak yord uv mi sloeping properte, hwich kliemz a hil frum Smitth Street (hwich I understaand wuz wuns kauld "Hilsied" Aavanyu aur Street) tu Saandfard Aavanyu, the maen naurtth-soutth draag uv mi port uv toun, Vailsburg.


Bi tha tiem I got tu tha visinite uv tha Welkam Senter, a lot uv peepool wer wauking AWAE frum Bluemfest, aand aulmoest noebude wuz beehiend me wauking mi wae.

Saandfard morks thaa boundare beetween "Loeur Vailzburg" (eest uv Saandfard aand doun tha hil I menchand, hwich ekstendz tue bloks forther tu Stievasant Aavanyu) beefaur tthingz levool auf agen, aand Uper Vailzburg, hwich iz aakchuale levool, aat the top uv tha hil. Faurtuitasle, if thair or no porking spaesaz aat kurbsied, I du haav the opshan uv porking up mi oen drievwae aand beehiend tha hous.
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In tha vere ferst staejaz uv mi housqhunt in laet 1999 aand oorle 2000, wel beefaur I oend a kor, I kreaetad a "drutherz" list — that iz, aan "if-I-haad-mi-drutherz" cheklist on mi kampyueter (hwich I kood print out tu kaare witth me) agenst hwich I kood eevaalyuaet tha properteez I vizitad. Hi amung mi drutherz wuz a drievwae, in the ekspektaeshan thaat suener aur laeter I wood akwiur a kor. I haad livd, aat tha stort uv housqhunting, aulmoest 35 yeerz in Manhaatan. Mi best frend in Manhaatan in tha laet 1960z, Gregare Fadaurak, hu wuz frum this jenral airea uv Nu Jerze, haad a kor in Manhaatan, but not a reezervd spaes in a porking garozh. I roed witth him on a kupool uv akaeshanz around aand around neerbi bloks tu keep him kumpane aand kanvers about topiks uv myuechual intrast thaat we miet not utherwiez haav deevoetad just tu konversaeshan, duering tha vere laung tiem (perhaps aan ouar) it took tu fiend a porking spot on the Uper West Sied (mid-80z on Riversied Driev). Then I wuz givan, bi mi paarants, yues uv mi oen kor faur a kupool uv weeks (hwen I wuz living on West 84tth Street beetween West End aand Riversied), aand ekspeereanst tha saem kraezeenas, so beekaem aadamant thaat if ever I wer tu bie a hous, I wood never go tthru thaat agen. Thair haav bin tiemz, sins I muevd tu Nuark, thaat I haad haad tu pork sum 200 feet frum tha baes uv mi frunt stairwae if I did not wont tu taek mi kor up tha drievwae. But I haav aaulwaez haad the opshan uv porking up beehiend mi hous if tha kloesast porking space on tha street wer forther thaan I kaird tu wauk.
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I muevd tu Nuark in Juen 2000 but did not get a kor until mi muther'z untiemle detth in 2003 (aat aej 90 — but yes, it wuz stil untiemle beekauz uv a groeteskle stuepid medikal mistaek aat Rivervyu Hospital in Red Baangk (Monmatth Kounte), hwen sum ideat yung dokter deesiedad tu lisan tu her hort aaz tu fibrilaeshan bi loeuring a lisaning divies doun her isofagas, hwich ript a hoel in her chest thaat reezultad in sepsis aand detth witthin a fyu daez thairaafter. Naashanal meedea haav reepaurtad that medikal mistaeks or tha ttherd moest koman kauz uv detth in the Yoonietad Staets. Doen't I noe it.
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I wood uv kaus haav bin much haapeur tu bie mi oen kor, hwenever I kood afaurd tu du so, if it took yeerz. Mi oenle kumfart aaz reegords thaat teribool tiem, hwen tha hoel faamile reeyuenietd in Red Baangk (a terifik kamyuenite neer ouar faamile hoem in tha River Ploza sekshan uv Midooltoun Tounship, tu tha west uv Red Baangk akraus tha Naevasingk (pranounst náe.va.sìngk) River) iz thaat I wuz vere sertan, hwen I inheritad her spaurte kor in 2003, thaat she wood haav wontad me tu haav it.


Tu this dae, I driev mi muther'z (faurmer) kor, aand du not esp. look faurwerd tu biing a nu kor, tho vaareas tthings haav gaun seereasle raung witth herz. It iz, aafter aul, a 1992 Jeo Staurm, aand eevan tha best kor — aand tha Jeo Staurm, manyoofaakchurd bi Japaan'z Isuezu kumpane, iz definitle wun uv tha best — kaan be ekspektad tu divelap problamz aafter 24 yeerz. Tha kor iz aulso vere lo tu tha ground, faur being uv a spaurts-kor dizien, witth tha reezult thaat aat niet I aam endlasle asaild bi tha glair uv hedliets frum boetth onkuming aand foloeing korz, aand esp. SYV'z aand uther aul-tue-nuemeras truks on toodae'z roedz. It seemz a ttherd aur faurtth uv aul veikoolz on tha roed toodae or truks aaz such aur truks bi anuther naem (SYV, krausoever, hwutever).
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I haav in faakt tthaut hwether I wood dispoez uv mi muther'z kor if I wer faur instans, tu win tha lotere (tu kwoet kameedeeyen Juede Tenueta, "Yai, thaat kood haapan."), aur hoeld on tu it, in mi baakyord. I ges I wood, grujingle, dispoez uv it, tu reesponsibly reesiekool its metal, glaas, etc. But I shuer wood haet tu du so. Mi muther wuz aan ekstraurdinere wooman, not so much faur hwut she did but faur hwut she wuz.


Yu kaan se in theez tue foetoez uv mi muther, taekan hwen she wuz in her (laet?) 80'z, but esp. tha left wun, sumtthing uv the upbeet aand eevan plaefool naechur thaat she maentaend tu her preemachuer detth aat aej 90. Yu kaan eevan se a janetik difrans beetween mi muther aand me, in that she kood koorl her tung intu a tueb, hwich I kaanot du. I took boetth foetoez frum akraus tha ruem witth a telafoeto lenz, hwich I oend until it wuz stoelan hwen I livd in Manhaatan. Mi kurant kaamra duz not akomadaet interchaenjabool lenzaz.

Tho mi muther did werk in tha paed eekoname faur mene yeerz tu kantribyuet tu tha faamile'z fienaansaz — pravieding faur siks childran izan't eeze faur aurdinere peepool — she never haad a "kareer" in tha paed eekoname. We wer her kareer. Aand she wuz brilyant aat it, eevan tho she did emploi houskeeperz tu help hwen she wuz aat werk. We aul turnd out vere wel. I sapoez I kood sae, "Espeshale me", eksept that it wood be a seereas kontest — in uther peepool'z iez, aat leest — aaz tu hu uv us turnd out best. Mi brother Aalan haaz a P.h.D. in siekolaje, haaz taut in kolajaz, aand haad sevral books publisht, moest but not aul about poeker. Mi bruther Brian haaz a Maaster's digre in maatthamaatiks aand wuz until reetiurmant aulmoest literale a "rokat siantist", serving faur mene yeerz aaz aan enjineer faur aan airoespaes kumpane aand in NAASA'z spaes proegram. [Noet: boetth tha soundz uv the aakranim aand a speling uv tha inishalizam "NAASA" werk out tha saem: Nashanal Airanautiks aand Spaes Administraeshan.] Mi oelder sister haaz werkt faur yeerz, aand kantinyuez tu werk, aat aej 73, faur tha Boiz & Goorlz Klubz (uv Laung Beech, Kaalofaurnya ). Aand mi yungger sisterm Treena, haaz werkt vere saksesfoole in bookingz faur the kruez segmant uv tha traavool indastre. Miend yu, nun uv them haaz chaenjd tha woorld, aaz I haav in aufering tha term "Gae Pried" aaz it haaz bin yuezd faur tha paast 46 yeerz. Aand I wuz aadmitad tu Hu's Hu in Amairika a kupool uv dekaedz ago, tho I doen't noe if I'm stil in it. In ene kaes, ouar paarants, wer thae stil living, kood be proud uv aul uv us.
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Mi muther, tho plaenle intelijant, seemd never tu haav intalekchual intrasts. Yes, she red a lot, but not eneetthing vere seereas — maagazeenz, Reeder's Diejest Kandenst Books, aand such. Never did I tthingk tu aask about her intalekchual lief. Yu just didan't du thaat witth yaur paarants in thoez daez. I tthingk thaat paarant aand chiald mae aulwaez haav bin straenjerz. Maebe I'm raung, but tthingk baak. Hou wel du yu noe yaur paarants? Haav hu asuemdd yu noe them, but never aaskt eneetthing about thair intalekchual lief? Maebe yaur fother haaz red evreetthing publishd in loekal nuezpaepers about sians — evre tiep uv sians, frum miekroebiolaje (tha tieneast) tu astroname (tha hyuejast). Maebe yaur muther haaz (aur haad) tha saem intrasts aaz your fother. Aur maebe she iz (aur wuz) maur intrastad in peepool thaan miekroebz aur saleschal bodeez, aand foloez (aur foloed) intentle hwut kurant reeserch reeveelz about hwi peepool du, hwut thae du.
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In ene kaes, tu stort mi trip tu this yeer'z Bluemfest, I waukt doun mi frunt steps tu tha siedwauk aand wuz heding tu mi drievwae tu wauk up aandd around baak uv tha hous tu hwair mi kor wuz porkt (cheking faur faulan braanchaz in tha drievwae aaz I waukt — aand thair haav bin mene faulan braanchaz uv siez this yeer), hwen I sau this astonishing siet: a gorbaj pial the entiur widtth uv tha hous in frunt uv hwich it apeerd, just wun fool hous'az widtth uv mi hous. It lookt aaz tho sumwun haad ript out a signifikant port uv the inardz uv thaat hous, perhaaps preparataure tu renavaeting it. I doen't noe, aand didan't haav tiem tu look tthru tha heep tu se hwut kiendz uv tthingz wer being diskordad aand if thair wuz eneetthing I miet maek yues uv.


This stuf — demalishan dibre? — wuz tha kiend uv tthing thaat wood aurdinerile be depozitad in a ptievat kumpane'z dumpster, aand not be pikt up bi Site Saanitaeshan until, in this naeberhood, tha sekand Wenzday uv tha muntth (if then), aand Aeprool 24tth wuz wel beeyond thaat daet. Hou laung wood it reemaen in plaes?
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I took wun foeto uv thaat airea at 3:42 p.m., aand tha foetos shoen abuv uv the azailyaz in bluem just beeyond a smaul, fraem (woodan) aportmant hous ajoining mi hous tu tha naurtth, beefaur I haad tu rush tu get tu Braanch Brook Pork beefaur the end uv Bluemfest aat 5:00 a'klok.
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Aaz I ekspektad, I koodan't fiend porking eneehwair neer tha Chere Blosam Welkam Senter, so poosht mi tripmeeter butan (so I kood se hou for I'd haav tu wauk wuns I did fiend a porking spaes) aat a point just beeyond tha baes uv tha hill doun frum tha Welkam Senter on Pork Drive, then droev anuther 4/10tths uv a mial beefaur I found a plaes aat tha kurb.


Divers kroud in vendarz airea, evreebude geting alaung faemasle witth evreebude els, in toodae'z lorjle poest-raeshal Nuark.

Alaung tha wae, I encounterd Leesa Konraad uv tha Nuark Print Shop wauking the uther wae, aand we stopt tu chaat a moemant. She wuz vere pregnant, so I aaskt hwen tha baebe wuz du: suen, around Mae 18tth, she sed. I kanqgraachoolaetad her on her graet good faurchoon. I wunder if she wil bring tha baebe tu werk witth her aat N.P.S., aan ortistik spaes uv hwich she iz a prinsipool. I'm shuer a lot uv us wood luv tu se him aur her. Baebe peepool or aulmoest aaz kyuet aaz kitanz aand pupeez, doen't yu tthingk? I then bid her adyu aand kantinyued tu wauk tu tha Welkam Senter. It wuz bi then around 4:30 p.m., aand kroudz wer streeming awae frum the Chere Blosam Senter on tha paatth alaung wun sied uv Pork Driev..


Eevan beefaur I got tu tha paatth up tu tha Welkam Senter, I sau this faamile gruep poezing bi aand on a machuer chere tre. Machuer treez in B.B.Pk. or vere straung, aand mene viziterz poez thair childran siting on sturde maejer limz, aaz witth tha gruep abuv, uv hwut apeer tu be peepool frum the Indean Subkontinant. Chere-blosam tiem iz the oenle tiem thaat lorj numberz uv peepool frum ene port uv Aezha seem eevan tu vizit Nuark, much les liv heer. Tue baad, beekauz Nuark iz a graet plaes tu liv, aand tha bulk uv Nuarkerz welkam evreewun. Thair or, I aadmit, sum blaak laung-tiem Nuarkerz hu feer thaat aan influks uv non-blaaks wil jentrifi thair naeberhoodz, driev up hous priesaz, aand displaes blaaks tu maek ruem faur hwiets, Aureeyentalz, Indo-Paak faamileez, ets. Thaat haaz not, tu daet, bin a maejer problam in Nuark. Aand I hoep it never wil be.

Thair wuz aan airea on tha lorj laun neer tha Welkam Senter in hwich inflaetabool amyuezmants wer set up aand kept inflaetad bi faanz runing konstantle.

This is the airea in hwich mi faevarit feechur uv tha vaareas Bluemfests I haav seen, a porshale inflaetad hot-air baluen on its sied intu hwich viziterz kood wauk, wuz wuns displaed. I'd haav liekt tu venchur insied thaat agen, but eech yeer'z Bluemfest iz diferant, aand thaat wuz not on aufer this yeer. It wood be graet if sumdae hot-air baluen RIEDZ frum Braanch Brook Pork oever tha Laek, its vaareas fountanz, tha Kattheedral Basilika uv tha Saekrad Hort, aand onward oever Nuark's terifik Dountoun laandmorks (deepending apon wind paaternz) kood be auferd. I miet eevan poene up tha kaash faur thaat! I kood liv on roman nuedoolz, witth tuena, sordeenz, aanchoeveez, sliest egz, aur maebe tthin sliesaz uv paurk aur chikan (I'm not big on beef, givan tha kurant (kraape) staet uv mi teetth aand the eksesivle hi pries uv beef) faur a kupool uv weeks thairaafter.
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This nekst foeto shoez tha kair witth hwich tha plaanerz uv tha Pork choez tha tre shaeps tu plaes witthin siet uv eech uther, aand uv the vaareas oepan spaesaz, such aaz tha graand launz on hwich yu kaan se faamile grueps pikniking. This airea iz elavaetad much abuv Pork Driev, so tha ground probable staez reezanable dri, aaz wood soek blaangkats plaest apon tha graas.

This foeto shoez a VERE taul jentoolman — aur wuz he on stilts? Probable tha laater. Nuark naetiv Shakeel O'Neel iz taul, but not thaat taul.


Heer iz a kloeser vyu. Wer neerbi kidz deelietad aur afrietad ['affrighted"]? I ges I'd haav noen, aat this kid'z aej, thaat tha maan touwering abuv wuz not reele thaat taul, aand haav enjoid tha weerd spektakool uv a maan on stilts kloes aat haand. I wood, houwever, probable haav wereed about hwut wood haapan tu him if he stumboold aand fel frum thaat hiet, aand wunder hou he got up to aand doun frum hiz stilts. I wunder thaat stil!


Perhaaps mi faevarit enkounter uv tha dae (no disreespekt tu Leesa Konraad, but I'v seen her mene tiemz, hither aand yon), wuz witth this wooman'z tue lorj, kularfool paarats.


I doen't noe thaat I haad ever beefaur seen paarats this kloes up. Hwen I wuz a chiald in Paalisaedz Pork, I wuz deelietad bi sumtthing thaat haaz sins vaanisht frum ouar kulchur, faur hwutever reezan: a mungke werking faur kontribyueshanz frum tha kroud thaat aan aurgan griender kood gaather. Wunderfool. I doen't tthingk tha mungkeez wer ever hormd, but "aanimal-riets" aajitaeterz toodae or maur doktrinair thaan praagmaatik. Kaes in point, tha distrukshan uv wun uv tha publik's faevarit spektakoolz, traend elafants in tha serkas — aaz tho abyuesaz kood not be unkuverd aand karektad bi siveer penalteez tu abyuezerz. In Indea, such elafants or yuezd faur heve lifting aand uther servisaz tu hyueman sasiate, witth no horm tu the elafants. But Indea duzan't haav P.E.T.A. luenz tu deel witth. Aur did aurgan grienderz go out uv egzistans beekauz uv tha peepool maur thaan tha mungkeez, aaz oeld mungke-maasters died auf, aand thair childran did not kair tu kaare on tha faamile tradishan? I doen't noe. In ene kaes, we wer maur in tuch witth aanimalz uv mene kiendz hwen I wuz a chiald (tha laet-1940'z tthru mid-1950'z), but not aulwaez in a good wae.


On Morch 6tth, 2007, I diskust heer a feechur frum "the oeldan daez" thaat I'd haav bin haape tu leev beehiend, a boocher shop in hwich liev aanimalz or slauterd on-deemand hwial kustamerz waet. Tha wun in Paalisaedz Pork apauld me hwen I was a smaul child in the oorle 1950's. But hwen I diskuverd in 2007 thaat thair wer (or?) stil such plaesaz, inklueding aat leest wun in neer Naurtth Nuark aand wun in Bluemfeeld, I wuz disgustad. Tha foetoez frum mi diskushan in 2007 haav vaanished frum the Internet due tu AOL'z deeleeting evreewun'z onlien-stauraj aireaz, but I reetaend tha foetoez on mi hord driev. Heer iz a foeto uv tha frunt uv thaat "matadero" [pranounst mòt.a.thái.rro] shop, Spaanish faur slauterhous. A haandsam myueral aat tha top uv tha fasod disgiezaz tha naaste werk witthin.


Heer, in tha neer Naurtth Waurd, smaul aanimalz, inklueding raabits, kwailz, pijanz, duks, aand turkeez maur thaan just chikanz, ruesterz, aand gine foual (the Ingglish naemz uv the aanimalz menchand on tha plaet-glaas windoez in tha foeto beelo) or (aur aat leest wer in Februewere 2007) kild, on deemaand, in a boocher shop in Nuark. Monstras. Sweet litool Hispaanik houswievz go tu this shop, pik out the aanimalz thae wont tu eet — pikchur a spektakool in a glaadeataureal kontest in aenchant Roem, pointing tu wun indivijual, aand turning tthumz-doun — aand aurder them kild on tha spot. I noe we or omnivaurz, aand peepool in tha rich kuntreez or priemerile kornivaurz, but this iz maur thaan a bit tue much faur me. The unflinching amung us ("borbaireanz" aur "saavajaz" tu me aand probable tu moest uv yu) mae akyuez peepool liek me uv hipokrise — we'r perfaktle kantent tu eet aanimalz, aaz laung aaz sumwun els kilz them, out uv siet. We doen't wont tu asuem ene persanal reesponsibilite, much les heer aur eevan se tha slauter. But I'd raather not haav tha detth uv a bune raabit on mi konchans. Indeed, I haav NEVER eetan raabit, aur venisan, fezant, aur a wied raenj uv uther aanimalz thaat sum peepool treet kaazhuale aaz fued. I in faakt stopt eeting veel dekaedz ago, aand laam, eksept faur the airea thaat miet be reegordad aaz a waest bieprodukt, brest uv laam. I feel thaat aanimalz shood get tu LIV beefaur we kil them. I wood aakchuale liek tu tri mutan (tha meet uv adult sheep), tu se if it haaz eneetthing liek tha graet flaever uv laam, but haav bin unaebool, tu daet, tu fiend a singgool staur eneehwair neer me thaat selz mutan. Goet, yes. Mutan, no.


A komparabool reevulshan akerd reesantle hwen a webkaam on a bauld eegoolz' nest kaapchurd a paarant (tha fother? hou wood thae noe?, sins mail aand feemail uv thaat speesheez look aliek) braut hoem not a fish naur rat but a KAAT tu feed its yung. Tho sum siantifik abzerverz tthaut tha kaat miet haav died beefaur being taekan auf tu feed the eeglats, we kaan't reele noe wun wae aur anuther. Naechur iz a monster, I'm afraed, aand the ekspreshan "Muther Naechur" shood be baanisht frum the Ingglish laanggwaj faurever, unles we envizhan thaat muther aaz Medea, in hwich kaes the ekspreshan shood be reeviezd tu "Monster Naechur".
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Vaareas foetoez beelo sho tha vendorz' airea. Fued uv sevral tieps (tho not grild buneez), juelre, kloething, plaants, insens, perfyuemed oialz, aand vaareas uther tthingz wer on aufer. Tha pavilyan shoen beelo houzd faes-paenting (faur childran, I worant).


Faur aanimalz, inklueding tha hyueman aanimal, tu liv iz tu kil. Thair'z no geting around it. We, frum tha tieneast jeleefish tu tha moest eenaurmas hwail aand evre aanimal in beetween, must kil, aat leest plaants, tu liv. Primitiv peepool — aand reemember thaat "primitiv" meenz "ferst", aand thus aulso "faurmoest" — delt direktle witth tha detth uv the aanimalz thae aet, aand sumtiemz reeveerd tha speerit uv such aanimalz seramoeneale. We uv the aadvaanst woorld or a fyu steps beeyond, aur reemuevd frum, thaat ferst reelaeshanship witth tha detth uv aanimalz, aand peepool hu or not just kumfartabool witth kiling aanimalz but aakchuale enjoi seing it, in bludlust, or reegordad aaz daenjerasle deeraenjd. Sasiate iz nou inkliend tu se aan intimat kanekshan beetween tha detth uv (nonhyueman) aanimalz aaz a preekurser, aaz in tha kaes uv, sae, Jefre Domer, tu siekotiks kiling peepool aaz tho thae wer just prae aanimalz. It's aan intrasting tthaut. Hwi wood aur shood we drau a distingkshan beetween uther aanimalz aand tha hyueman aanimal? Soeseolajists wuns tthaut thaat kaanibalizam wuz komanplaes, aand then thaat kaanibalizam wuz ekstreemle rair, aand kanektad not witth fued but witth reelijas richualizam aur baatool triumfalizam. I saspekt thaat the iedea thaat primitiv peepool reegorded peepool aaz just anuther fued saurs aroez frum aan "understaanding" thaat primitiv peepoolz eether kood not aur wood not drau a distingkshan beetween hyueman aand uther fued aanimalz.


Never miend thaat tha bulk uv lorj kornivaurz (lianz, tiegerz) seem tu abzerv hwut in hyueman beehaevyur iz kauld a "taabu" agenst kiling aand eeting wun'z oen kiend. In aakchuaalite, hyueman-on-hyueman kaanibalizam iz neether so koman aaz haaz aat vaareas tiemz bin tthaut naur aaz rair aaz we miet preefer tu tthingk


I haav wonderd vere for frum Braanch Brook Pork, I'm haape tu sae. Let uz nou reeturn tu Bluemfest 2016.


Tha foeto abuv, uv tha kroud in a port uv tha vendarz' airea, shoez in tha baakground wun uv tha fyu chere treez stil prominantle in bluem. I haad bin tu tha Pork sevral daez beefaur, aand tha blosamz seemd paast-peek eevan then. But I doen't noe if tha Braanch Brook Pork Alians'az websiet aur eevan the Esaks Kounte websiet praviedad giedans aaz tu hwether tha blosamz wer yet tu reech peek, aat peek, aur paast peek. I tthingk boetth siets mae need tu du a beter job in tha fyuechur. Uv kaurs, I miet just haav bin deralikt in cheking dilijantle. Let's sae I wuz, aand the Alians aand Kounte did a good job thaat I — aand thus, shuerle, mene uther indivijualz — did not keep in miend tu chek hwen tha maater wuz aat ishu. If thaat info wuz onlien but I aand mene uther peepool mist it, perhaaps tha Kounte aand Alians need tu drau atenchan tu thaat infarmaeshan sueper-prominantle nekst yeer aand beeyond.


Aaz I hedad baak tu mi kor aafter wun partikyoolarle aadamant feemail palees aufiser toeld venderz thae haad tu shut doun in thaat it wuz nou aafter 5 p.m. — aand egzaaktle hwut horm, [Maadam] Aufiser, wood haav bin dun tu publik aurder aand justis if tha Bluemfest venderz haad staed in operaeshan aaz laung aaz thair wer kustamerz? — I sau thaat the inflaetabool amyuezmants wer aulrede kalaapst.
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I took the fotos of inflatable slides and such at 4:58pm, on my way to the vendors area in the Welcome Center parking lot. By 5:13, this iz hwut the inflaetaboolz' airea lookt liek. Yu kaan se, aat for left, hou smaul a rounded pakaj eech inflaetabool faurmed hwen deeflaetad aand roeld up. Prite amaezing, I tthaut.


Heer, yu kaan se a zuemd vyu uv inflaetaboolz not yet roeld up.


Bi 5:16, yu kood not tel thaat thair haad bin ene eevent in tha Pork, much les wun involving tenz uv tthouzandz uv viziterz, beekauz peepool did NOT stru gorbaj but wer koncheeyenchas in pooting it intu traash reeseptakoolz. I doen't noe thaat I haav ever bin prouder uv Nuarkers' reespekt faur thair pork.


I maed a tiene mistaek in mi chois uv paathz doun tu Pork Driev, so haad tu waulk perhaaps a kupool hundrad feet forther thaan I wood haav haad tu, haad I taekan tha riet paatth. But I need aul tha jentool eksersiez I kaan maanaj, so thaat ekstra kupool uv hundrad feet uv wauking servd me wel.
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Vailzburg Rubish Pial Reemuevd. Aat 4:45 a.m., laung, laung aafter I reeturnd hoem frum Braanch Brook Pork, I hurd tha noiz uv a gorbaj truk (a prievat korter, I aam sertan, tho I kood not, in tha dork, se iedentifiing morkingz, oenle tha bulk uv a gorbaj truk aand its tailiets). Witthin perhaaps 15 minits, the entiur pial uv demalishan dibre tue daurz doun wuz gaun. 4:45 a.m. seemz aan od tiem tu kort rubish awae, but it wuz aul gaun beefaur Saanitaeshan palees kood ishu a tikit on Mundae, tha ferst biznaz dae aafter Bluemfest Sundae.
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Tha laast foeto I aufer toodae, beelo, shoez wun uv tha vere fyu chere treez thaat seemd tu be aat fool peek hwen I vizitad. Byuetifool, no? We or vere luke tu liv in so byuetifool a site aaz Nuark YSA.


Saturday, March 12, 2016

Yu Never Noe

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)

I haav menshand tha Nuark diaaspara on mene akaezhanz, esp. in kanekshan witth foetoez uv ouar loekal snoez, in thaat mene faurmer Nuarkerz haav taekan tha hint aand hedad tu snoelas kliemz.
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Hwut I haadan't kansiderd iz tha jeneraeshanz thaat proeseedad frum peepool hu left Nuark, faur hwutever reezan, houwever laung ago. Then I got this eemail 3½ muntths ago, on Noevember 30tth, 2015.
Just wontad tu giv yu a tthaangk yu frum out uv tha blu.
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Beekauz uv yaur blog on fiurhouzaz in Nuark I wuz aebool tu loekaet tha preesies spot in aan oeld foeto (ataacht) uv mi fother (on tha left) aand hiz frend frum about 1945. It took a lot uv internet serching but yaur foetoez uv Enjin 10 aat Aastar St. aand Sherman Aav. iedentified tha loekaeshan perfaktle. Mi fother livd aat 172 Seemur Aav. aat tha tiem, hwich izan't for frum this fiurhous. Mi sinseerast graatitued.
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Robert Florczak [pranounst fláur.zaak], Laus Aanjalas

Thair apeerz tu be a sigaret haanging frum the elder Flaurzaak'z moutth. I hoep that duz not faurshaado a preemachuer detth frum lung kaanser. [I need tu adres this, in boetth tha kanvenshanale-speld aand Fanetik vershanz uv this poest, w/updaetad info frum Robert] I woch a lot uv "klaasic" (oeld) T.V. sitkomz, moestle on Aantena T.V. (W.P.I.X. chaanal 11.2), aand sumtiemz go ontu the Internet tu se hou oeld tha vaareas storz wer hwen that died, aand hwut thae died frum. In reegord tu Jone Korsan, faaur instans, Wikipedea sez plaenle thaat he died uv lung kaanser induest bi smoekig, The ortikool menshand thaat he wuz sumtiemz seen smoeking on kaamera, aand I did se aat leest wun episoed in hwich he did indeed need a smoek.
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I wuz aakchuale not kwiet sertan thaat Einjin 10 wuz tha riet fiurhous, beekauz in tha foeto frum tha 1940'z, thair iz sumtthing stiking up much tauler frum tha turat thaan in mi foeto uv Jooli 29, 2011, aaz beelo.


So I zuemd in on mi foeto tu se hwi thaat tthing, hwutever it miet be, wood be shaurter, aand sau this.


Tha raagad j uv the outkroping indikaets thaat in the interveening dekaedz, mene briks haad apaarantle faulen frum hwut I ges wuz a chimne. Mistere solvd.
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I aaskt Robert if I kood yuez hiz tekst aand foeto in this blog. He agreed.
I wood be o.k. witth yu yuezing tha mateereal, Kreg, but just tu understaand, or yu tauking about tha foeto uv mi fother aand hiz frend? If so, mi fother'z naem wuz Henre Flaurzaak (on tha left) aand hiz frend wuz Lu Wiesberg. I bileev tha foeto wuz taekan in 1945 aur '46, posible hwen mi fother wuz on leev frum tha Mareenz. I bileev hiz hoem aat 172 Seemaur Aav. in thoez daez no laungger egzists, aur haaz bin raezd aand reeplaest. Aaz faur me, mi fool naem shood be yuezd (I aam sumhwut in tha publik ie)— Robert Flaurzaak—uv Laus Aanjalas ....
Robert iz apaarantle aan ortist aand orts ejookaeter, jujing frum hiz websiet, lingk tu hwich he inkluedad in hiz eemailz. This iz port uv the inishal infarmaeshan about him on hiz websiet.
Robert Flaurzaak wuz baurn in 1950 in Woshington, D.K. He ernd a Baachaler uv Fien Orts digre frum tha prestijas Kueper Yuenyan in Nu Yaurk Site, studeing paenting under Wil Bornet aand fatografe under Gaare Winagraand(?). Flaurzaak wuz ortist-in-rezidans aat Wiedner(?) Yueniversite, aand taut paenting aat the Ort Instituet uv Filadelfea, tha Laguena Kolaj Uv Ort aand Dizien, aand tha Saan Fransisko Akaadame uv Ort Yueniversite.
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Aaz a prafeshanal ortist, he haaz haad aan aaktiv kareer spaaning faur dekaedz, witth ekstensiv werk in tha fien ort, aadvertiezing, entertaenmant, aand publishing feeldz. Hiz arijinal werks or in tha prievat kalekshanz uv Mel Gibsan, Miekal Jaaksan (inklueding tha loego uv Neverlaand Raanch), Hwoope Goeldberg, Jime Stuart (nou aat tha Jaemz Stuart Ttheater aat Prinstan Yueniversite, aand Paul Aalan (Miekroesauft's koe-founder), amung utherz, aand in tha kaurparate kalekshanz uv A.T.&T., Raandam Hous aand Beecham Formasuetikalz, tu menshan a fyu.
I didan't noe thair wuz a Jaemz Stuart Ttheater aat Prinstan, naur hwi. Hwen I chekt hiz Wikipeedea entre, I found thaat he did indeed atend Prinstan. I miet haav atended Prinstan mieself eksept thaat I wuz so beeset bi Veltshmairts in hi skuel thaat I kood not foekas on sumtthing so triveal aand aport frum tha mizereez uv tha woorld aaz hie-skuel studeez, so mi graedz weran't good eenuf. It's a litool hord faur me tu reegret not geting intu Prinstan, tho, beekauz it iz duering mi ferst yeer aat Site Kolaj uv Nu Yaurk (sekand yeer aat the Site Yueniversite) thaat I kaem up with tha koinaj "Gae Pried", hwich haaz maasivle traansfaurmd tha woorld. Yu never noe hwut it wuz about tha partikyoolar tiem thaat yu did sumtthing thaat maed it kum out az it did. So I didan't get intu Prinstan, but I did chaenj tha woorld. Tue baad I didan't get rich duing so. Thaat wood haav bin nies.
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Aaz tu this abaandand fiurhous, hwi iz this dilaapidaetad strukchur stil staanding? It duz not seem partikyoolarle werthe orkitekchurale naur, asied frum indivijual faamile histareez such aaz thaat uv Robert Flaurzaak (aand iz thaat sed fláur.chaak? [no, just fláur.zaak), partikyoolarle impaurtant histaurikale. Kood tha Site uv Nuark maek sum mune bi seling this abaandand fiurhous aand multituedinas uther esenshale abaandand properteez? Aur iz thair no morkat faur this aand uther such properteez? I shood tthink thair wood be sumbude eeger tu poot up a "Baeyoen boks" hous aur tue heer aand in mene uther Site siets. Thaat wood reedues tha need faur tha Site tu eether raez taaksaz aur redues servisaz, aand bring in maur good peepool tu aad solid sitizanz tu ouar rezidenshal kaur.
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I haav aakchuale wunderd if thair miet be intrast on sumbude'z port in bieing tha haaf uv mi dubool lot thaat mi hous duz not okyoopi, tu poot up a nu Baeyoen boks. If need be, I kood dispens witth mi drievwae, aand pork on tha street, mueving mi kor wuns a week. But tha Site reeviez iz houzing staandard in 2008, tu reekwiur maur ruem beetween houzaz, aand I doen't noe if thair wood be eenuf spaes faur anuther entiur strukchur under tha nu staandard. I aam astoundad thaat tha Site Kounsool wuz indignant about theez seemingle fien adishanz tu tha site'z kaarakter, popyoolaeshan, aand midool-klaas miks. Hwi on ERTTH wood Nuark's site guvernmant wont tu STOP peepool frum mueving heer? Thair or mene kiendz uv stuepidite. Baaning Baeyoen boksaz iz just wun uv them.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Got Wied Foetoez Baak, but Not Aadz; FUTD: Dump Truk

(Noet: This poest iz Fanétisìezd WITTH áaksents faur siláabik stres. If yu haav a préfrans reegórding tekst witth áaksents aur witthóut, pleez let me noe yaur tthíngking véa éemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)
I éditad this blog'z témplat tu tri tu get fóetoez tu displáe aat fool widtth, aand get mi Gúegool ÁadSens aadz baak, but kood not ajúst the egzísting témplat, naur reestáur tha wae this blog wuns werkt. Tha reevíezd témplat afékts aul poests tthru the entíur hístare uv tha blog, aul tha wae baak tu 2004. I haad tu chuez aan entíurle nu témplat, then tri tu ajúst it tu look much aaz this blog yuezd tu look. But it werks dífrantle. Instéd uv a wied síedbor on tha riet that displáez the "Abóut Me" próefial aand órkievz, thoez tthingz or hídan untíl yu húver tha kúrser óever tha riet sied uv the skreen. Then yu get a kúpool uv lítool íekonz thaat, hwen klikt, wil preezént that ìnfarmáeshan. It's anóiing thaat Gúegool duz not sapáurt óelder témplats. Hwi wood thae maek it impósibòol faur us tu édit óelder témplats? Thae wer áuferd BI Gúegool Blóger. Hwi or thae not sapáurtad bi Gúegool Blóger? Stil, I kaan nou displáe fóol-widtth fóetoez witthóut tha riet sied béing mord bi sùeperimpóezd tekst.
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Anúther imprúevmant iz thaat witth mi oeld témplat, óenle abóut sévan poests wood apéer in tha moed a víziter seez, but nou a graet méne maur or shóeing, góeing baak muntths. So aan infréekwant víziter dúzan't haav tu chek réesant órkievz but kaan just kantínyu tu skroel doun tu se éneetthing thae miet haav mist réesantle.
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I mae tri tu édit tha témplat agén, but faur nou, I doen't noe hwut els tu du. Blóger'z instrúkshanz faur éditing tthingz or kleer aas mud, aand sum ópshanz or "Not Aváilabool witth [aur iz it "Not áplikabòol tu"?] this Témplat". It's máadaning.
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In éne kaes, I kaan get baak tu áading nu poests witthóut háaving tu ajúst tha siez uv fóetoez I haav aulréde reesíezd tu fit this blog.
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Fóeto Uv Tha Dae. Sum vyúarz miet reegórd aaz od mi chois uv this fóeto uv a Preeyéto dúmptruk tu híeliet aaz FUTD, but I sau this truk aat tha top uv tha hil frum hwut wuz aat tha tiem (Mae 14, 2015) tha kanstrúkshan siet uv tha Núark ShópRiet up tu Joenz Street, aand found íntrasting a kúpool uv tthingz abóut it. Ferst, tho this vyu dúzan't sho tha shíening déetailz, sum héve truks, esp. Maak Truks, haav réele byúetifòol àurnamentáeshan on tha gril aand hood, thaat or dáazling in fool sun. Aláas, thoez déetailz or not vízibool in this sied vyu. But sékand, thair iz aan od strúkchur, hwut apéerz tu be a lo, fláatand sílinder, abúv the end uv tha léver thaat kantroelz tha baak daur frum hwich máater iz dumpt. I doen't noe whut it's faur.


Ttherd, yu miet not aat fersts noetis, but thair apeer tu be faur hweelz on eech sied uv tha truk, but tha sékand frum tha frunt in this vyu duz not tuch tha ground. It looks tu be a spair, staurd kanvéenyantlè aat haand but ìnkanspíkyuaslê out uv tha wae ùndernéetth the kórgo áirea.

Friday, February 12, 2016

N.J. in tha Nuez

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)


Skreenprint uv W.A.B.K. N.Y. Chaanal 7'z kuveraj uv a neer-dizaaster aat see.

In reesant weeks, Nu Jerze beekaem tha senter uv maejer staureez in naashanal nuez braudkaasts.
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A Bae(y)oen-baest kruez ship, the [Aanttham uv tha Seez[], kaareing sum 3,000 paasanjerz aand 1,600 kru, wuz endaenjerd bi tha stuepidite uv tha Roial Karibean kumpane'z ship kaaptan, hu ignaurd tha duete tu chek aul availabool wethur-faurkaast infarmaeshan beefaur heding out tu see, intu hwut turnd out tu be 125 m.p.h. sastaend windz! Hyuej waevz rokt tha ship frum sied tu sied, aand maed it list so siveerle that mene terified paasanjerz tthaut tha ship wood be unaebool tu riet itslf, but beekum a reel-woorld verzhan uv tha 1972 mueve, Tha Pasiedan Aadvenchur, but ineskaepabool. The kruz wuz sapoezd tu end in tha Bahomaz, but haad tu turn around hundradz uv mialz shaurt uv paurt, aand reeturn, stil in ruf seez, tu Bae(y)oen. "Nu Jerze" wuz herd freekwantle in tha maasiv meedea kuveraj uv thaat neer-kataastrafe, tho I'm shuer thaat hwen Roial Karibean kreaetad its Eest Koest hoem paurt in Baeyoen, thae intendad thaat peepool reegord it aaz Nu Yaurk (Site), esp. givan thaat Baeyoen kaan be reegordad aaz port uv tha Paurt uv Nu Yaurk, aaz in tha "Paurt Autthorite uv Nu Yaurk" ("aand" [oenle laeter, aand vere grujingle,] "Nu Jerze"). I sau oenle wun paasanjer hu haad eneetthing good tu sae about tha voyaj, a maan hu kampaird tha muevmant uv tha ship tu a wiald Dizne ried fild witth tthrilz. Hwair he livd wuz not staetad, but braev (aur fuelhorde) aatitued iz nou asoesheaetad in unoen tenz uv tthouzandz uv peepool's miendz witth Nu Jerze. Thaat miet not be a baad tthing, but aakchuale good, so sho aat leest wun (preezuemd) Nu Jerzean aaz not just karaejas but tthrild bi posibool daenjer — hwich he probable diskountad, figyuring thaat modern ships kood not posible flip upsied-doun. A difrant video snipat, houwever, shoed a maan kising tha flaur uv Baeyoen'z Kaep Liberte kruez ship terminal. This turnd out tu be oenle tha ferst uv TUE absurd reeversalz bi thaat ship in tue weeks!
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Guverner Kriste "saspendad" (hwich shood haav bin termd "endad") hiz kaampaen faur tha Reepublikan Porte'z nominaeshan faur Prezidant aafter he acheevd oenle a sikstth-plaes finish in tha Nu Haampsher priemere, daspiet haaving spent hundrads uv daez in eevents aul oever thaat staet. The N.Y. Daile Nuez ruedle sumd it up in tha ferst paaragraaf uv its staure: "It's oever. The Faat Maan haaz sung." [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/christie-2016-campaign-disappointing-nh-finish-article-1.2527308] Hwi iz so much waet (yu shood pordan the ekspreshan; aand hwi iz Kriste stil faat, eevan tho he haad gaastrik biepaas surjere tthree YEERZ ago?) givan tu, aand so much tiem aand mune spent on, thaat hyuejle-unrepreezentativ staet? Indeed, hwi duz eneebude plaes ene impaurtans on voets in eether aur boetth uv tha ferst priemere staets, Iawa aand Nu Haampsher, hwich bair NO REEZEMBLANS tu tha Yoonietad Staets aat lorj? Tha nekst tue staets wer Navoda aand Soutth Kaaralian. Hou or thae reemoetle liek the Yoonietad Staets eether? I haav relativez in boetth staets (mi kuzin Naanse aand her muther, mi imeedeat faamile'z much-luvd Ont Mae (Win) liv in S.K.; mi oelder bruther Aalan livz in Los Vaegas, N.V.). I dout thaat ene uv mi relativz in thoez baatoolground staets deeluedz themself intu tthingking thaat thair staet iz in ene signifikant reegord repreezentativ uv the Yoonietad Staets in jenral. (Bi tha wae, "themself" iz, akauding the Enkorta Woorld Ingglish Dikshanere, aan aakchual werd, iraashanl tho it mae seem tu linggwistik prigz.) Soutth Kaaraliena oenle laast yeer took doun tha Kanfederate Baatool Flaag aat tha staet kaapital, aand then oenle beekauz uv a maas murder uf deesant, Krischan blaak peepool in a CHURCH bi a kraeze hwiet gi. Navoda haaz not just sevral myuenisipaalitieez hoele deependant finaanchale apon kaseeno aand slot-masheen gaambling but aulso on leegaliezd prostitueshan! S.K. aat leest haaz a signifikant blaak mienorite; N.V.'z popyoolaeshan iz oenle about 9% blaak, tho 27% Hispaanik, \\ [http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/32000.html] given Nevada's proximity to Mexico, from which it was wrenched by the Mexican War. (I have always held that the U.S. should have annexed ALL of Mexico to the United States, created all of its extent into territories, and brought ALL of them into the Union as States. Had that been done in 1850, Mexico would be, like the former more-than-half of Mexico we DID take, peaceful, prosperous Sunbelt states, in which people born there would live good lives and people who moved there from colder climes elsewhere in the Union could live well on even today's miserly Social Security.) However, Nevada is a caucus state, and almost nobody votes in caucuses, so the results are not likely to be representative in any way.
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A maejer fiur in a wairhous kompleks in Hilzbero Tounship, Sumerset Kounte kauzd a dens pluem uv smoek tu blo sum 35 eestward akraus Midoolseks aand Monmatth Kounteez, then out intu the Aatlaantik Oeshan. Wethur saataliets pikt up thaat pluem uv smoek, aand sum wethur reepaurts treetad it aaz a baand uv sno shouarz! Thaat (apaarant) mistaek wuz pikt up bi naashanal nuezkaasts.
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Setth Miurz, on the NBK naashanal entertaenmant proegram Laet Niet witth Setth Miurz Februewere 12tth (hwich vyuarz miet reegord aaz Tthurzdae niet, Feb. 11tth, beekauz it kaem on in tha laet-niet ouarz thaat foloed Wenzdae the 11tth), reepaurtad Guverner Kriste'z bou-out frum tha kwest faur the Reepublikan Prezidenchal nominaeshan, sapoezadle kwoeting Kriste aaz saeing he wunderd hwut he wood du nou. Miurz pointad out thaat Kriste iz STIL Guverner uv Nu Jerze (so haaz no reezan tu wunder faur eevan a sekand hwut he shood du nou). Alaas, Miurz haaz reepeetadle, in reesant aand not-so-reesant niets, mokt Nu Jerze, aaz, in esans, a kantemptibool plaes – aaz tho hiz oen, jenrale insignifikant staet, Nu Haampsher, iz vaastle soopeereur. I haav bin tu N.H., if oenle tu tha Dortmatth Yueniversite airea. I found it plezant but not impresiv. N.J. haz much maur tu rekamend it in evre reegord. We haav evreetthing N.H. haaz, inklueding glaureas autamn kulerz, but aan eenaurmas amount maur in termz uv just about eneetthing yu kair tu naem, frum histare tu teknolaje tu urban vietaalitie — indeed, aaz I sae, just about eneetthing yu kair tu naem. I yuezd tu liek Setth iurz. No laungger. I wood be vere haape tu heer thaan aan indignant Nu Jerzean aproecht him aafter a sho aand puncht him vere hord in tha faes, permanentl aultering tha shaep uv hiz noez.
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A reesant fiending bi aastroefizisists asertad this week thaat a wae haad bin found tu "heer" tha "graavitaeshanal waevz" uv tue blaak hoelz a bilyan liet-yeerz awae frum Ertth thaat merjd a bilyan yeerz, aand pruevd thaat thair iz such a tthing aaz "graavitaeshanal waevz", hwich Aalbert Ienstien haad preediktad in 1916, hwen he wuz living in Jermany. Tho Aalbert Ienstien'z naem iz rairly asoesheaetad witth Nu Jerze, tha faakt iz thaat hwen Ienstien left Jermane, he muevd, aafter a fyu temparere rezidansaz, tu taek up a pazishan aat the Instituet faur Aadvaanst Stude in Prinstan (yes, Nu Jerze), aand never muevd thairaafter. No, Ienstien, hu iz aufan tthaut tu be tha smortast maan in hyueman histare, choez tu liv hiz entiur lief, aafter permanantle faurswairing hia kuntre uv bertth, in Nu Jerze. Yu kaan't chuez hwair yu or baur, but yu kaan ashueradle chuez hwair tu liv hwen yu or aan aadult, aand Aalbert Ienstien choez Nu Jerze.
Ienstien'z hair iz eevan maur unruele thaan thaat uv hiz prezant-dae, feloe-Ju Berne Saanderz' hair.


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Y.S. Soopreem Kaurt juj (faurmale, "Justis", tho thaat werd duz not, tu mi miend, reemoetle fit him) Aantanin Skalea died on Februewere 13tth in West Teksas. He wuz baurn in Trenton (yes, N.J.), tho hiz faamile muevd tu Kweenz (N.Y.S.) hwen he wuz siks.



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Steevan Koelbair'z sekand gest on Februewere 16tth wuz faurmer Nuark Maeur aand prezant juenyur Y.S. Senatar frum N.J., Kaure Booker, hu haaz ritan a book, tietoold Yoonietad: Tthauts on Fiending Koman Ground aand Aadvaansing tha Koman Good, about Amairikanz, inklueding in Konggras, koe(w)operating. He aadmits tu werking with tha loethsam Ted Kruz, eevan haaving diner witth the S.O.B., hwich stortoold peepool hu saw them toogether in a restaront. Aat 5:07 a.m., W.P.I.X. (Chaanal 11.1) nuez sed thaat Booker miet be under kansideraeshan aaz a reeplaesmant faur Skalea on tha Soopree Kaurt? I haad not herd thaat frum ene uther nuez saurs, aand I woch a lot uv nuez. Hwen I did a serch on Februewere 18tth, houwever, I found this kwoet in a nuez staur on Yohu! Nuez frum Februewere 16tth: [http://news.yahoo.com/us-sen-cory-booker-on-the-supreme-court-vacancy-153515786.html]
On hiz naem being floetad aaz a patenshal Oeboma apointmant tu tha Soopreem Kaurt, Booker sed: "It's reepaurter swoorl aand hiepatthetikalz aand I haav tu just foekas on mi job." He kantinyued, "It's nies tu heer yaur naem baandeed about, I'l kanfes thaat, but aat the end uv tha dae, I haav a feeling thaat I'v got anuther faur yeerz werking hord faur Nu Jerze."



This foeto uv Kaure Booker apeerz aaz aul naaro foetoez aand videoez shood apeer, witth wied blaak baurderz. Tha koman praaktis toodae uv plaesing aan unfoekast reepeet uv tha maen video beehiend aand on boetth siedz uv a naaro video iz insaenle stuepid aand infyuereaeting. What a*h* kaem up witth THAAT iedea?


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It seems tu me thaat this faurmerle veree-hie-proefial Nuark maeur haaz asuemd a vere lo proefial sins he enterd tha Senat. Tha Naeshan needz "Pragresive" — aur, aaz I much preefer, Liberal — leedership tu steer us out uv this neoe-Kanfederat eera. So, Mr. Booker, pleez kik it up a fyu duzan nochaz


Kaure Booker, Mork Zukerberg (hu doenaetad $100 milyan tu tha Nuark Publik Skuelz; I doen't noe hwi, naur hwut haaz bin dun witth tha mune, but uv kaurs aam vere graetfool, not just faur tha mune but aulso faur the atenchan a distant outsieder gaev tu this terifik site), and Kris Kriste toogether aaz kaapchurd in a slietle fuze foeto thaat iz port uv tha Nuark 350 eksibishan aat tha Nuark Publik Liebrere, hwich wil be on displae until Deesember 31st.


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Nuark'z oen Saeveon Gluver'z naem iz nou being menshand aaz kaureografer in aadz faur a Braudwae myuezikal, Shufool Alaung, aur, Tha Maeking uv tha Myuezikal Sensaeshan uv 1921 aand Aul Thaat Foloez. That myuezikal iz tu beegin preevyuez on Morch 15tth.


Skreenprint frum onlien trailer faur tha Braudwae reevieval myuezikal "Shufool Alaung".


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On tha 2d episoed uv tha klaasik sitkom Borne Miler, braudkaast on Tuezdae niet/Wenzdae maurning, Februewere 16/17tth on Aantena T.V. (W.P.I.X. chaanal 11.2), a kon maan/muger (plaed bi laung-tiem kameedik kaarakter aakter Fil Leedz) hu flaaterd a wooman intu tthingking he wuz a fatografer frum Voeg in aurder tu disorm her aand steel her purs, wuz aaskt bi Deetektiv Haaris (plaed bi Ron Glaas) hiz plaes uv bertth. Hiz wun-werd aanser: "Nuark". Thaat iz tha sekand persan (wun blaak, wun hwiet) arestad in Borne Miler thaat I haav herd sae "Nuark" faur hiz plaes uv bertth. (Kyuereasle, Fil Leedz aulso apeerd in a miener roel in anuther klaasik sitkom, Evreebude Luvz Raemand, braudkaast imeedeatle thairaafter on tha saem niet, on W.P.I.X.'z priemere chaanal, 11.1.)
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On Februewere 26tth, Guverner Kriste endaurst tha bafuen Donald Trump faur Prezidant. He wuz imeedeatle thairaafter dispaacht bi Trump liek aan insignifikant lapdaug ('Nou, get yaur plaen aand go hoem'). (I doen't noe about yu, but, much tho I luv daugz aand pupeez, eevan tho I haav oenle tue kaats, I du not tthingk I wood wont a 300-pound daug on mi lap!) Hou loethsam aand kantemptibool Guverner Kriste haaz beekum — SO disgusting thaat SIKS Nu Jerze nuezpaeperz, inklueding the Aasbure Pork Pres aand (faurmerle Nuark Stor-Lejer editaureale insistad he reezien frum tha guvernership, seing thaat he haaz spent 72% uv hiz tiem outsied tha staet kaampaening faur tha Prezidense. This iz not tha wae I faur wun wont Nu Jerze tu be seen bi tha Naeshan. I du not faur aan instant bileev thaat Donald Trump reele wonts tu be Prezidant uv the Yoonietad Staets. It iz aul sum kiend uv kraeze, eegatistikal guef apon tha Naeshan bi a proefoundle deefektiv persan hu needz endlas vaalidaehsn fru straenjerz beekauz he haaz no self-reespekt. Naur duz he dizerv self-reespekt, beekauz he iz a mizrabool ekskyues faur a hyueman being.

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Theez or just menshanz / menchanz I noetad in mi oen telavizhan vyuing. Thair mae haav bin mene utherz I did not haapan tu se.
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Nu Jerze iz a smaul port uv this kuntre'z teritaure, aand eevan popyoolaeshan,, tho it iz, in termz uv popyoolaeshan, a BIG staet, 11tth uv 50. It reemaenz tha wun staet witth tha hiast popyoolaeshan densite, hwich iz anuther wae uv saeing thaa maur peepool wont tu liv heer, per yuenit airea, thaan in ene uther staet in tha Naeshan.
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So hwi doen't we get maur reespekt? — MUCH maur reespekt? I noe a graet deel about the Ingglish laanggwaj, aand its pranunseaeshan akraus the Ingglish-speeking woorld. The speech uv kairfuol, ejookaetad speekerz in moest uv Nu Jerze iz tha BEST IN THA WOORLD. This iz not tu denigraet the ekskwizit Amairikan speech uv the Ilinoi-baurn aaktras Eelizabatth MikGuvern in tha wunderfool British seereez Dountan Aabe, hwich iz SO reefreshing amid aul tha kraap uv tha hyuejle vaareed dialekts uv British Ingglish, uper- aand loeur-klaas, thaat thaat seereez ekspoezaz us tu. Tha speshal proegraam Maur Maanerz uv Dountan Aabe staetad aloud hwut I saspektad, thaat the aaksent uv the uper klaasaz wuz toend-doun tu maek it maur eezile kompreehensibool tu modern lisanerz, esp. in tha Y.S. This iz tu sae thaat Britan haaz, daspiet its aaragans, muve in ouar direkshan, witthout aadmiting thaat it laust kantroel oever the "Ingglish" laanggwag a hundrad yeerz ago! Tha moest-intrasting Kanaedean T.V. sho, Tha Murdok Mistereez (shoen in ouar airea laet aat niet on aul tthre (laet) niets uv tha weekend, kyuereasle on boetth ABK chaanal 7.1 aand Foks chaanal 4.2), aulso haaz ekskwizit Amairikan, NOT Kanaedean speech. Alaaz, tha sound enjineering uv thaat sho iz so apaulingle baad thaat it iz aufan hord tu understaand hwut the aakterz or saeing. Port uv tha problam iz thaat tha myuezik, odle indistingkt tho aufan iz, kampeets in loudnas witth tha spoekan werdz, aand in port beekauz tha speech in itself iz ekstreemle mude raather thaan krisp. Yu miet nunthales liek tu chek out thaat intreeging seereez, set in Taronto, Ontaireo, in about 1896, faur its perspectiv on siantifik palees werk frum a vere difrant tiem. (Aand tha mail leed, Yoneek Beesoenn, iz gaurjas).
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Aaz reegordz byuetifool N.J. speech, I aam uv kaurs not tauking about peepool aadversle influeanst bi dialekts (aand thair or maur thaan wun) in N.Y.S., thaat ""fagédabòudid" tthing. I'm tauking about tha speech uv ejookaetad peepool in tha preeponderans uv Nu Jerze, hwair peepool noe not tu kanfyuez "kot" aand "kaut", but tu sae evre R thaat apeerz in print. Such truele repreezenntativ Nu Jerzeanz wood never sae témp.a.chùr — hwich apauling numberz uv T.V. wethur(wi)man mispranouns insted uv témp.ra.chùr. Nu Jerze aulwaez shoez up in tha top 2 aur 3 staets in diskushanz uv weltth aand ejookaeshan, aand we shood be glaad tu trumpat such reezults woorldwied. Hwi DOEN'T we? Thair seemz tu be Nu Jerze, a disinklinaeshan tu apeer priedfool. Aserting yaur aakchual verchuez iz not braaging, just seing tu it thaat thaat tha rekerd reeflekts tha reaalite.
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N.J. haaz plente tu aadvertiez tu tuerists frum uther plaesaz faur much, tho not aul, uv tha yeer. Tha "Jerze Shaur" iz a graet plaes faur peepool hu luv tha 110 mialz aur so uv oeshan saandz aand vyuez thaat this litool staet afaurdz duering tha sumer. Autam glaure distinggwishaz much uv tha staet, espeshale in the aireas, frum Sumerst tthru Susaks Kounte, morkt bi lo mountanz, hwair multeekulerd leevz apeer toogether, piald up, ro apon ro, beefaur yaur iez. Spring afaurdz tuerists maagnifisant displaez uv blosaming treez, esp. in ouar airea, Esaks Kounte, hwich iz fild tu oeverfloeing witth flouwering / flouaring chere treez uv shaedz fru hwiet tu deep pingk. Aand then, in sumer, we'r baak tu tha byuetifool saandz uv tha Jerze Shaur, frum Saande Hook Bae tu Bornagat Bae, tu tha Delawair River wuterfrunt aul tha wae tu tha Kaamdan riverfrunt aand its Akwaiream. Faur les thaan a taangk uv gaasaleen — aand aat tha prezant reeduest kaust uv gaasaleen, hwich iz beelo $1.50 per gaalan aat sum staeshanz — Nu Jerzeanz kaan spend inuemberabool ouarz on plezhurabool aand byuetifool tiemz in this smaul staet. If yu or not proud tu be a Nu Jerzean, perhaaps yu shood be. Tri it. Yu'l liek it. I wuz baurn heer (tho I livd faur 35 yeerz in Manhaatan). But if I haad not bin baurn in N.J., I miet stil wish I haad bin.